Death isn't always easy

People are all around me.
But I can't hear them, I barely know they're there.
All I can see is the big brown casket at the front of the room.

I can sense people coming to me, giving me kind words and hugs of comfort.
But I don't move. I don't say anything. I just stare. Stare at that casket.
My emotions have left me and I feel the painful
emptiness they left behind.

It is now my turn to speak.

As I get up to the microphone, I stare silently into the crowd of people.
I look down and see that brown box that now holds my sister.
My mind suddenly blinds me with the memory, making me relive that moment once again.

I feel myself waking up from being unconcious
As I look to my left I call my sisters name asking if she's ok.
But she's motionless.
I call her name again and try to shake her but I barely have the strength to lift my arm.
I now see blood coming from her head and her body still isn't moving.

Energy rushes in me as I scream her name, tears pouring down my face,
telling her to wake up, not wanting it to be true.
I'm still screaming her name when I feel stong hands pull me from the car.
They pull me farther and farther away, Until the world goes black.

I'm suddenly back in reality. With a brown casket in front of me
and people waiting for me to speak.
My emotions rush into me. Tears pour down my face.
I bow my head and whisper only 5 words.
"It should have been me"