Death isn't always easy

People are all around me.
But I can't hear them, I barely know they're there.
All I can see is the big brown casket at the front of the room.

I can sense people coming to me, giving me kind words and hugs of comfort.
But I don't move. I don't say anything. I just stare. Stare at that casket.
My emotions have left me and I feel the painful
emptiness they left behind.

It is now my turn to speak.

As I get up to the microphone, I stare silently into the crowd of people.
I look down and see that brown box that now holds my sister.
My mind suddenly blinds me with the memory, making me relive that moment once again.

I feel myself waking up from being unconcious
As I look to my left I call my sisters name asking if she's ok.
But she's motionless.
I call her name again and try to shake her but I barely have the strength to lift my arm.
I now see blood coming from her head and her body still isn't moving.

Energy rushes in me as I scream her name, tears pouring down my face,
telling her to wake up, not wanting it to be true.
I'm still screaming her name when I feel stong hands pull me from the car.
They pull me farther and farther away, Until the world goes black.

I'm suddenly back in reality. With a brown casket in front of me
and people waiting for me to speak.
My emotions rush into me. Tears pour down my face.
I bow my head and whisper only 5 words.
"It should have been me"

I find myself walking alone

I find myself walking in a dark tight tunnel.
I can't see any light. All I can hear are my footsteps.
I try to run, try to get out of this place.
It feels like its getting tighter every second trying
to squeeze all the air from my lungs.

I walk alone.

After what seems like forever I see light.
I run for it.
When I first arrive I am blinded, this light is so bright.
When my eyes adjust, i find myself looking at something I've been
trying to hide trying to stay away from.
But I'm here and I can't go back.

I see people, too many people, staring at me their eyes empty
yet they still have a disappointed look to them.
They don't move,they just stare, stare at me.
I try to avoid them pretend they're not there but there's no where too look.
No where to run.

I try speaking to them, the silence driving me mad.
But they won't speak. They only stare.
I try running from them, try getting away.
But as I go farther I see only more people.
only now they're holding letters never written, lists never finished, stories never told, books never been opened and worst of all words never spoken.

I collapse to the ground. Its too much.
Fear and anger are filling up inside me.
As if they're eating me from inside.

I try to call for help. From anyone, anything.
But then I remember.

I walk alone.

Remembering 9/11

I hope you take the time to remember all the innocent people who died this day, all the heros that came to be.I hope you take time to remember and promise to never forget this day and never take your family for granted.
I will never forget this day I hope you never forget it either.

I'm still thinking about you

I've been trying to get you off my mind ever since you walked out that door but I keep thinking about you.I'm thinking about you like socks think about shoes.
And like birds think about flying, and how babies think about crying,
like old people think about dying.

I'm thinking about you like the sun thinks about the moon, like lollipops think about tongues. Or even how the dish thought about the spoon.
I keep thinking about you like pencils think about paper, like lightning thinks about thunder,
like pigs think about bacon.

I'm thinking about you like dogs think about Frisbees,
how nails think about hammers, and how sunglasses think about the sun.
I try but I'm still thinking about you like worms think about dirt, like pepperoni thinks about pizza, and how mice think about cheese.
I'm thinking about you like marshmallows think about s'mores like the moon thinks about the stars. Like hats think about heads. Like rings....think about fingers.

And I'm still thinking about you even after you shut that door.
I'm thinking about you.
And I wish you'd come back.

A little something called love

Love is a newspaper you read all about it
Love is a pineapple
Love is a waterfall
Love is a lightning storm
Love is a clock
Love is a suprise party you never know when it will happen
Love is an ice cold lake
Love is hot fudge
Love is a chorus of frogs
Love is a knife